


Christmas Coming Out

by FandomFeels17



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blood, Christmas, Coming Out, Dan has a little sister, Isle of Man, M/M, Reading, Slight Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 18:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomFeels17/pseuds/FandomFeels17
Summary: He didn't intend to come out to his mum in his future mother in law's kitchen at Christmas... But here he was, doing exactly that.





	Christmas Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> Hello.
> 
> I'm new to the Phandom, so please be nice to me! This is definitely one of my longest stories. I know I won't have got their mannerisms down to the wire, but I tried my best. 
> 
> You may have noticed an OFC and the tag of canon divergence. Nothing changes except that Dan has a little sister as well as Adrian. Hence the two tags.
> 
> Also, because we don't know anything about Dan's Dad (from what I researched. Correct me if I'm wrong.) he only appears in the scene that I needed and isn't a big character. 
> 
> Also, don't panic about the blood warning! It's literally only a bloodied cut, but I added the tag just in case anyone who reads this, is squeamish about blood. It's literally just mentioned in a setence and not heavily detailed.
> 
> Also, I put this in all my stories. Please DO NOT send any of my work to Dan and Phil or anyone associated with them!

It was a few days before Christmas Eve and London had already seen the first showering of snowfall. Thankfully, not enough to actually cause traffic jams, accidents and train cancellations, although with another snowfall scheduled later, that could soon change. Scowling out of the window, as if that would make the already fallen snow disappear quicker, Dan Howell folded his arms over his chest.

''You do know that won't help, right?''

Rolling his brown eyes as his partners question, Dan spoke. ''Yes, smartass. I do.'' Turning to face him, he pouted. ''It's just... Chloe is looking forward to Christmas this year, and I think this is going to be the last Christmas where she believes in Santa. Just don't want to miss it...''

Phil didn't answer, he just wrapped his arms wrapped round Dan and kissed his shoulder. ''You won't. You'll get there, no matter what.'' Kissing his way up to Dan's neck, he continued. ''You going to be okay? You can call me whatever time it is, if it gets too much.''

Dan hummed. ''You shouldn't have said that. You know I'll be taking you up on that.''

''And I'll be on the other end waiting for you.''

Dan smiled and leaned back against him. ''Maybe next year, we can have Christmas here...'' Dan bit his lip. ''With our families...''

Phil pressed his lips to Dan's temple, before smiling. ''Maybe. That would be amazing.'' 

That would hopefully be the dream within a year. They had been dropping very subtle to their parents, over the years, more on Phil's side than Dan's. Dan's mum had actually been surprised one Christmas when he had said he would be spending Christmas with her, as she was completely prepared to spend Christmas with just her second and third born and her parents. So she had been surprised when Dan told her he would be spending Christmas with her, but he would be arriving Christmas Eve night from the Isle of Man.

''One day.'' Dan said softly, turning round and pressing a kiss to Phil's lips, before he headed for their kitchen to make a drink. ''Do you want one?'' he called, getting the cups from the cupboard.

''Coffee please.''

Dan rolled his eyes fondly before reaching for the coffee jar and spooning a spoonful into Phil's cup. Just as he was about to pour the boiling water from the kettle into the cups, his phone pinged. Frowning, he picked up his phone, before a smile filled his face. His eight year old sister, Chloe had sent him a message with a picture attached.

_Merry Christmas, DanDan. I can't wait to see you! Love you!_

Dan smiled at the drawing she had sent. A picture of what he guessed was him and Phil surrounded by a Christmas tree and Colin, the Howell family dog. The only reason he went home at Christmas was to see his younger siblings and his Grandma. His relationship with his parents was strained, but he could tolerate them for his youngest siblings sake. 

Finishing off the hot drinks, he headed into the living room, where Phil had set up Riverdale on their Netflix account. Setting Phil's coffee in-front of him, Dan curled up next to him, before loading up the photo from his little sister to show his partner. ''Chloe says merry Christmas, by the way.'' he said, handing the phone over to Phil.

Phil cooed before handing the phone back over to Dan. ''She's the cutest. Tell her hi from me.'' he said, pressing a kiss to Dan's head and watching as Dan typed out a reply to his younger sister before locking his phone and placing it on the coffee table and picking up his cup of tea, curling back into Phil's side and covering them both with a thick blanket, as Phil pressed play on an episode of Riverdale...

* * *

How Dan survived the two and a half car journey from London to Reading on Christmas Eve, he had no idea. Driving in thick, settling snow was something he hadn't done before. Granted he had only been driving again for a few months, but he hadn't expected that on the drive, especially black ice at one point. Pulling up outside his childhood home, he turned off the ignition to the engine and rested his head against the headrest of the driving seat. Pulling out his phone, he saw a text from Phil that had been delivered an hour ago, when Phil and Martyn had landed in the Isle of Man. 

_Landed safe and sound with Mart. Remember, message me if you need me. I love you. X_

Smiling, he typed out a reply. _I love you, too. Next year, we'll spend Christmas together, I promise. No more hiding. Tell the family I love them, and I'll see them Boxing Day. Have a lovely night with them. X_

Tucking his phone back into his jacket pocket, he sighed deeply. Sometimes, he was slightly jealous of how close Phil was to his parents and family. The way Phil could talk about them with ease, while Dan was slightly vague with his answers when he talked to his Mum. He could only hope that one day he could be as close with both of his parents as Phil was with the Lester's. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket again, indicating a message, but before Dan could check, a hand slapping against the window made his jump violently in his seatbelt secured seat.

Scowling at his younger brother, who was seemingly on his way out, Dan yanked the key from the ignition and stepped from the car. ''You fucking idiot! You nearly gave me a heart attack.'' Dan snapped, though there was no heat behind his words.

''Too tempting. How was the drive up?'' Adrian asked, shifting the overnight bag onto his shoulder. 

''Was fine. Where are you going?'' Dan asked, nodding towards the bag. 

''Staying at Amelie's. Spending Christmas with her and her family. But, I'll be back tomorrow evening.'' Adrian said, referring to his girlfriend of a year.

Dan tensed, but passed it off as a deep breathe in. ''Oh. Okay. Have fun and stay safe, I guess.'' Dan laughed and ducked the slap to his shoulder that was heading his way from his brother. ''See you tomorrow!'' Dan called after him, waving his brother off and turning back to his childhood home. Grabbing his bag from the boot, he locked up the car before heading up the garden path and opening the front door, stepping inside.

''Anyone here?''

''DanDan!!''

* * *

The Isle of Man looked so pretty covered in snow and having stars glittering the night sky made it even more Christmassy, like a Christmas card scene. Phil only wished he had Dan with him to experience it. Snapping a photo on the edge of the seafront cliff, he gathered his brother and parents over for a family selfie, before they continued their traditional walk along the sea cliffs, wrapped in their most warmest winter coat, hats and scarves.

''How is the husband?' Martyn asked his younger brother, despite seeing Dan not even twelve hours ago.

Phil smiled at the mention of his partner. ''Yeah, I think he's doing good. Chloe has him drawing Christmas pictures for everyone, so she's keeping him busy. He said he'll skype us all later.'' Phil opened up the message thread with Dan and showed Martyn some of the selfies Dan had sent him throughout the day, holding up the pictures that Chloe and himself had been working on.

''Aww, so cute!'' Martyn cooed, taking the phone from his brother and enlarging the pictures. Smiling, he handed the phone back to his younger brother, watching him closely as he messaged Dan back. ''Just wait until that's you two one day.'' he said, softly. 

Phil tried and failed to hide the smile on his face. ''Yeah?'' he asked, tucking his phone back into his pocket. ''You think?''

''I know so.'' Martyn said, confidently, swinging an arm round his younger brother's shoulders and jostling him slightly. ''You two are going to make great parents' one day.''

Phil was about to answer, when he realised their parents had stopped and heard the entirety of the conversation. Blushing, he was thankful it was dark outside at the blush on his cheeks. ''We're... Not yet. But hopefully, one day. In the few years.'' he said, before clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair, his cheeks burning a bright pink.

Kath smiled and hooked her arm through Phil's. ''And I can't wait.'' she told them both, smiling brightly at her two sons, as they continued their evening walk home...

* * *

After putting an excited Chloe to bed, Dan settled down on his Mum's sofa and opened up skype. With everyone else in bed, Dan had the house and the wifi to himself. Sipping on his hot chocolate and glancing at the tv playing The Grinch, a smile erupted on his face as Phil answered after a few seconds of the skype ringtone filling the room.

''Hey, Danny! How's the family?'' Phil asked, as he came into view. 

Dan smiled at the nostalgia that rushed through him at seeing his partner through a slightly pixelated screen. ''Chloe says she misses you. Mum says hi.'' Dan said, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. ''Where's the other Lester's? They're who I really want to see.'' Dan teased, before giggling at his lovers offended but fond expression.

''They're in bed. So, it's just me!'' Phil said, before the image went distorted and blurred. ''Mum!'' Phil's voice sounded muffled before a familiar face appeared on the screen.

''Ignore my youngest son, sweetheart. We're both here. How are you?'' Kath asked, looking cozy in her pyjamas, as she curled into her husbands side. 

Dan smiled. ''I'm not doing too bad. Had Chloe keeping me busy so I can't complain. How are you and Nige?'' he asked, getting comfy on the sofa and turning the tv off, bathing himself in the only light, which were the golden lights coming from the Christmas tree.

'We're doing very well, thankyou darling. Are you still coming up to us on Boxing Day?''

'Of course, I am! Can't miss your mince pies. As long as Phil or Martyn don't eat them all.'' He laughed when he heard two people protesting, before they appeared on the screen, sitting either side of their parents.

'I beg your pardon?''

''Phil will eat them all before I get my hands on them.'' Martyn's reply clashed with Phil's offended statement, before the younger Lester reached over Kathryn and flicked his brother on the ear. ''Ow! Stop it, you menace!'' Martyn retaliated with a flick to Phil's ear, before Kathryn snapped at them.

Dan laughed fondly, feeling a twitch in his heart. He would normally be there with them, but Chloe had been rather persistent at wanting to see her older brother before the Christmas carnage began, so he decided to join the Lester's on Boxing Day instead. ''Kath, send them to bed. You and Nigel are the ones I wanted to speak to anyway.'' he said, warmly. before sliding the tip of his tongue out from between his teeth, a habit he picked up from Phil.

Phil glared at him through the pixelated lenses. ''Just wait until you get here. Definitely, no mince pies for you.'' he told Dan, a smile on his face showing he was joking. Turning serious, Phil rested his cheek on his Mum's shoulder. Always a mummy's boy, Dan thought. ''I miss you.'' he said, a soft smile on his face.

Dan was about to reply when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Raising an eyebrow, he locked eye contact with his little sister. ''What are you doing out of bed?'' he asked her, watching as she lingered round the doorway clutching her blanket.

''I heard voices.'' she said, sleepily, rubbing her eye with her little fist.

''Oh, I'm talking to Phil, sorry sweetheart.''

Chloe visibly brightened at the mention of Phil's name. Rushing over to the sofa, Dan rolled his eyes as he realised the trap. ''Phil!'' Chloe whispered, excitedly, waving excitedly to him through the lenses.

Phil and the other Lester's chuckled at the youngest Howell's excitement. ''Hi Chloe. You keeping your older brother's busy?'' Kathryn asked, waving at the littlest Howell's excitement at seeing them on the screen.

''Always.'' she replied, before yawning and resting her head on Dan's chest. ''Hello Phil's Mum and Dad. Hi Marty.''

Martyn smiled warmly at the little girl. ''Hello, darling. '' Martyn said, smiling as Chloe let out another yawn.

''You tired?'' Dan asked, checking the time and then looking down at his little sister.

''No...'' she said, before her eyes started fluttering shut, making everyone chuckle.

''Okay, I think it's time for bed. Say goodnight.'' Dan told her. After a few minutes of wrangling the laptop from his little sister and saying goodbye to the Lester's, Dan carried Chloe up the stairs and back into her room. ''You know Santa won't come tonight.'' he threatened, shutting her up. After kissing her forehead and tucking her in again, Dan quietly closed the door behind him, certain she wouldn't be up again until Christmas morning. 

Just as he was about to go across the landing to his old room, his Mum's bedroom door opened and closed. She let out a quiet gasp of surprise when she saw her eldest on the landing. ''Dan. I thought you'd be asleep.'' Karen said, as she headed for the steps.

''Chloe got up, so I put her back to bed.''

Karen nodded before she headed down a few steps. ''You want a hot drink?'' she asked, turning to face her son.

Dan shook his head. ''I promised Phil I'd call him before bed.'' he said, immediately regretting it when he saw hurt flash for a second in his mothers eyes. 

''Okay, sweetheart. Say hi to him for me.'' she said, with a soft smile, before heading downstairs and into the kitchen. 

Dan sighed heavily and cupped his forehead, running a hand through his hair, before biting his lip. Heading into his bedroom, he changed out of his clothes and into a pair of pyjama pants and an old t-shirt of Phil's before reaching for his phone. Tapping it against his lip, he sighed before typing out a message. 

_Going to help my mum create the Santa illusion for Chlo. Be as quick as I can, I promise. X_

Phil's reply was almost instant, like he had been waiting for Dan to call him. _Dan, don't worry about it. Spend some time with your Mum before the Christmas carnage tomorrow. We can always call each other in the morning, baby. Say hi to her from me. I love you. Sweet dreams. X_

Dan smiled and sent a reply back with the black heart and the love heart surrounded emoji, before locking his phone and heading down the stairs, seeing his Mum in the kitchen, stirring a mug of tea. Knocking softly on the doorframe, he stepped into the kitchen. ''That offer of a hot drink still on?'' he asked, smiling as she quickly whipped up a cup of hot tea for him. ''Thanks.'' he mumbled, as he took a sip, humming pleasantly.

A silence filled the room, as they sipped on their drinks, neither of them knowing how to start on a topic that wouldn't end up going down a path that Dan would slam a gate shut on. The path that opened up, definitely wasn't one that he expected. ''How are Phil and the rest of the family? I haven't seen them since the end of the tour party you had.'' Karen said, ripping the plaster off.

Dan fish-mouthed for a few seconds before speaking. ''They're good. Fighting over mince pies and everything. No doubt Mart will kicking Phil's arse right now at Scrabble.'' Dan swallowed mouthful of tea, trying to calm himself down. ''I told you I'm heading up there, didn't I? On Boxing Day?'' he wanted to double check, not wanting to cause any hurt.

Karen nodded. ''Yep. I'm surprised you didn't go with him for today. You normally do. You normally spend a few days before with his family...''

''So? I can switch...'' Dan pursed his lips and sighed. ''I'm sorry. Chloe was kind of messaging me everyday. She's so excited and I know you said you think this will be the last year of Santa believing, so I wanted to make it special for her. The presents are in the boot of the car, I'll get them in a minute.'' Looking down at his cup of tea, Dan bit his lip. ''They say hi and Merry Christmas too, by the way.'' he said, with a soft smile.

Karen smiled as well. ''I wish they didn't live so far away. It'd be nice to know Kathryn and Nigel a little more.''

Dan choked on the mouthful of tea he had in his mouth. Swallowing it down with watery eyes, Dan cleared his throat before speaking. ''Huh?'' was all that ended up coming out of his mouth.

''You and Phil are so close. I hardly see Kathryn and Nigel unless we're visiting at the same time or if we're at one of your shows.'' 

Dan tried to ignore the pang of hurt as his Mum brushed off his and Phil's closeness, but he kept reminding himself she didn't know the true nature of their relationship. But she would, one day. Finishing off his tea, he stood up. ''I'm going out to the car.'' Dan said, heading for the front door.

As the front door shut, Dan's phone lit up on the table, indicating a new message. Clearing away the empty tea mugs, Karen caught sight of the message from Phil. But it wasn't the message from her son's best friend that caught her eye. It was the phone background. A picture of her son and Phil lightly and softly kissing, a private moment between the two of them. Tears sprung to her eyes as she came to realise the true extent of her son's relationship with Phil. Putting the mugs back on the table, Karen let a tear fall, as a range of emotions washed over her. Anger, for not realising sooner, happiness, for Dan finding someone so lovely, hurt, for Dan not feeling like he could trust her enough to tell her about it.

Wiping the tear away as the front door opened, she put the mugs in the sink and quickly got herself under control. Taking a deep breath, she headed out into the hallway to help Dan with the presents. Setting them down in the living room, she excused herself to grab the rest of Chloe's from her room that were hidden at the back of her wardrobe.

Dan watched her go before heading back into the kitchen, seeing his phone lit up. Noticing the message from Phil, a jolt of panic shot through him. Had his Mum seen it? Forcing himself to calm down, he replied to Phil's message, before going to help his Mum with the presents...

* * *

Christmas morning at the Howell's is loud with an eight year old screaming and shouting at six o'clock in the morning. Dan groaned and yanked the duvet over his head, knowing it'd be fruitless anyway. After been dragged from his bed by his way too energetic sister, Dan was surrounded by Christmas paper from her presents.

Accepting the coffee from his Mum, Dan spoke, his voice still thick with sleep. ''Did you get everything you wanted?'' he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

Chloe nodded and beamed brightly. ''Yes! I love Santa!'' she said, before opening up her new Nintendo DS game and inserting it into the game console.

''That'll keep her quiet.'' Karen commented, as she opened her presents.

Dan chuckled as he reached for his small pile of presents. ''Yeah.'' he whispered, glancing at his sister before opening his presents from his Mum, sister, brother and grandparents, although he was sure he would get money as well when he saw them later. Clearing away the wrapping paper, Dan stuffed it all into a black bin liner, before heading out into the snow covered street to throwing bin bag in the bin.

''DanDan. Take a picture of us!'' Chloe's voice came from the doorway of the front of the house.

''Put a coat and some shoes on at least!'' came Karen's voice, as she watched her youngest slip her wellies on over her pyjama bottoms. Watching fondly, she watched as Dan snapped a few selfies of them and a few with Colin when he bounded out of the house to join them. After shooing Colin away, Chloe whispered something in her oldest brother's ear. Seeing Dan glance in her direction, Karen headed back inside, but stayed near the door to hear Chloe speak.

''Hi Phil. Merry Christmas. Have a nice day with your Mum and Dad and Brother. I'll take care of Dan for you!''

Ending the video with a large smile and kiss to Dan's cheek, Chloe giggled and clasped her hand over her mouth as she watched her brother save the video to send at a more acceptable time. ''Will he like that I sent him a video?'' Chloe asked, as Dan led her back inside.

Karen quickly rushed into the kitchen and made herself look busy as her youngest children entered the house, smiling at their little conversation, before vowing to herself to have a conversation with Dan about her little late night discovery later...

* * *

Phil's Christmas morning was a lot more calmer, compared to the Howell's. Christmas morning started a lot later than six in the morning, for a start. Heading downstairs with a yawn, Phil ran a hand through his short hair before entering the kitchen and pouring himself a coffee. Heading into the brightly lit living room, thanks to the snowfall and large windows, he sat down in the armchair, joining his parents and brother in watching a Christmas film.

''Good morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?'' Kathryn asked, smiling at her youngest.

Phil caught sight of Martyn's smirk and flipped him off. ''Mart, don't even try and act like you're fine without Cornelia! You're just as bad!''

Martyn scowled as his younger brother before speaking. ''Nowhere near as bad as you and Dan! Nowhere close!'' he said, before turning his attention back to the tv.

Phil was about to retaliate before his phone lit up with a message from Dan. Opening up their message thread, Phil clicked on the video, a smile erupting on his face at the video message from Chloe. Feeling his heart grow even more, he watched it again, this time watching the fond and soft expression on Dan's face, smiling wider when Dan smiled at the end and chuckled before blowing him a kiss and ending the video.

_Are you trying to kill me on Christmas day? And in my family's house? That was adorable. Have a lovely day today and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I've got your presents here with me. I love you X_

Hitting send, Phil smiled at the message before lifting his head and finding three pairs of eyes on him. Immediately colouring red, Phil got to his feet. ''Shut up!'' he giggled, heading into the kitchen to find something for breakfast.

Kathryn watched him go and placed a hand on his chest. ''Even after ten years...'' she said, wistfully.

Martyn raised an eyebrow. ''Erm... Hello? Oldest son and his girlfriend have also been together for ten years!'' 

''Oh hush! You know I find you all adorable!'' Kathryn told her youngest. ''She's still coming day after tomorrow right? I wish she could've made Boxing Day. Would've been lovely to have all four of you here.''

''Don't worry. When you come down to London for New Years, you'll see us all there.'' Martyn said, taking a sip of his tea, before setting it on the coffee table and crawling over to the tree. ''Right, present time. Get your arse in here, Phil! Stop stealing my bloody cereal!'' 

* * *

''For god sake, you two! Do not decorate the Christmas cake with a bloody nudist scene again!'' Nigel told them, as he headed into the kitchen early evening to find his two sons decorating half a cake each.

''That wasn't even my idea!''

''It was Phil's idea!'' 

''Fuck off! It was yours!'' Phil protested, throwing a sweet at his older brother. Nigel rolled eyes and grabbed the bottle of alcohol he was sent to get by his wife, before heading out again, leaving the two brothers to it.

''I won't hesitate to dump the bowl of sweets over you!'' Martyn threatened, as a mini marshmallow hit him in the forehead. 

Phil laughed. ''I'll just eat them then. The floor is clean, Mum cleaned it yesterday.''

Martyn shook his head fondly, greeting their Granddad as he headed into the kitchen. ''You okay, Granddad?'' he asked, watching him closely.

''Yeah, just wanted to see my grandsons. How's is the lovely Nell doing?'' he asked Martyn, softly.

Martyn and Phil smiled at their Granddad. ''She's doing good, Granddad. She'll be over the day after tomorrow. We'll come round and see you.''

''You'd best do.'' Their Granddad turned his attention to Phil then. ''And you, Philip? How's the curly haired lad of yours?''

Phil laughed as he continued decorating the cake. ''Dan's doing fine, Granddad. He's coming over tomorrow, so it won't be long before you can see him again.''

''Good good. Always love a catch up with the grandson and granddaughter in law.'' he said, before grabbing a glass and heading back into the living room.

Phil and Martyn both smiled after their Granddad. It meant a lot to them, knowing their partners have their Grandfather's approval. Not that it was hard earning it, within seconds of meeting both Dan and Cornelia, the rest of their family were instantly charmed by them. ''Looks like Granddad approves.'' Phil said, before they continued decorating the cake.

''He approved the second he met them.''

A sudden clap had them both jumping. ''Right. Cake time is over. Get out of the kitchen!'' Kathryn said, ushering her two protesting son's out, wanting to get a start on her Christmas lunch...

* * *

Darkness fell over the Isle of Man, the stars not quite so visible the previous night. 

''I can't move.'' Martyn whined, his stomach stuffed with delicious turkey, pigs in blankets and Christmas cake with brandy custard. 

They had all managed to move to the living room before they all collapsed onto the sofa's and the armchair. Or the floor. Martyn wasn't willing to share the sofa with his younger brother.

''Mum, I say it every year, but that was bloody delicious. But, will you please let us help you, next year?'' Phil said, reclining on the sofa cushions, he had stolen from the sofa. 

''No. Christmas cooking is my time. It may be hectic and chaotic but I like that.''

Martyn hummed. ''And sipping red wine from the bottle. Where's the bottle of Merlot from this morning?'' he asked, his tongue peeking out form between his teeth.

Kathryn shot him a sharp look. ''You're not too old for a clip around the ear, Martyn Lester.'' 

Phil quietly sniggered on the floor, as he scrolled through his social media. Liking a few tweets that wished him and Dan merry Christmas, he switched to Instagram and was immediately greeted by a Dan and Chloe selfie. Quickly liking it, he typed out a comment.

_Aww... My favourite Howell and her older brother... Where's Colin though? :(_

Biting his lip and posting it, Phil closed out of his social media before realising he hadn't heard from Dan all day since that morning. Going into his message's, he sent a quick text.

_Lovely pic of you and Chlo. Hope you're having a lovely lunch. Love you and see you tomorrow. X_

Exiting the messages, he locked his phone and settled down to watch a Christmas film, which was a tradition in the Lester household. Halfway through the movie, Phil could feel himself drifting off, like Martyn, his Dad and Granddad had done. Pulling a blanket round him, he settled back down on his pillow, allowing the sleep to consume him.

Or he would've done, if a loud knock hadn't sounded throughout the house and woken the ones sleeping. Groaning, he watched as his Mum got to her feet and headed for the door, muttering something about her dear friend Roz. Rolling his eyes, Phil settled back down again, until his Mum let out a loud shriek of shock.

''Oh my god. What happened?! Get inside, you must be freezing, you silly boy!''

Frowning up at his brother, Phil got to his feet, the blanket still round his shoulders as he and Martyn headed out into the hallway, not expecting the scene in-front of him.

''I'm sorry. I just... I just needed-''

''Oh sweetheart. Give her to me.'' Kathryn said, taking a sleeping Chloe from Dan's arms and carrying her into the living room, wrapping her up the blanket from the extra sofa to keep her warm.

Phil rushed to a shaking Dan and pulled him in for a hug, not expecting Dan to grip him back so tightly. ''Dan, what happened?'' he asked, stroking the back of his boyfriends head. At the question, he felt Dan tense.

Pulling away, Dan shook his head, before slipping past Phil in the direction of the living room. Or he would have if Phil hadn't grabbed his arm and pulled him back to his side. ''What the hell has happened to your head?'' he exclaimed, showing Martyn, who soon had an alarmed expression on his face as he saw the blood matted in Dan's hair.

''Nothing. I'm fine.''

''Dan-''

Dan groaned. ''Phil, nothing happened. I just banged my head.'' Dan told him, slipping past the Lester brother's and into the living room, sitting next to his sister and stroking her hair away from her face. The living room was silent as Dan sniffled and shivered, before looking up at Phil. ''Dad turned up for Christmas dinner. Mum had invited him out curtesy. They had an argument and I thought he was going to go for her. So, I acted on instinct and pushed him away-''

''Your Dad did this?!' Martyn asked, horrified.

''Look, I just... I stumbled backwards and hit my head on the open cupboard.''

Phil narrowed his eyes. ''Did your Dad push you? When you pushed him away from your Mum?''

Dan was silent before answering, but that was all Phil needed to know. ''He didn't mean it. But, I just... I just freaked. Mum started screaming again and he joined in and I just... I just had to get Chloe out of there and for some reason, I was heading towards Gatwick airport instead of my Grandparents!.'' he rushed out. Turning to Kath, he apologised. ''Kath, I'm sorry for-''

Kathryn held up her hands, before anyone else could speak. ''You do not have to apologise. You had to take your sister out of a confrontation that could have ended badly.''

''I left my Mum, I didn't think-'' Dan started to speak, pressing the cold compress that Nigel handed to him against his head, wincing slightly as he did.

Kathryn held up a hand, silencing Dan. ''Phil, take Chloe upstairs to the spare room next to yours. Martyn, put the kettle on. Nigel, get the fire going. Dad... Just stay there.'' Kathryn said, before turning to back to her future son in law. ''I will ring your Mum and make sure she's alright and let her know where you two are.''

Phil gently picked up a sleeping Chloe and cradled her in his arms, before heading to the stairs and beginning the ascent up them to the spare room. Hip-checking the door open, he laid the youngest Howell on the bed, watching as she let out a sleepy noise before curling up against a pillow and letting out a little snore. Phil giggled, and gently pulled the duvet over her, tucking her in. ''Night Chlo.'' he whispered, before gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. Straightening up, he turned to find Dan watching him in the doorway, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

''It's Christmas, she's supposed to be with her mother and yet I've dragged her all the way-''

''Hey, you heard my Mum. You didn't know how that could have escalated!'' Phil said, heading over to Dan and gently nudging him out into the hallway, so he could close the bedroom door. 

''I left our mother in a possible dangerous situation!'' Dan hissed, his empty hands shaking. ''I didn't think, Phil. I never do! She could be bruised or hurt and I just grabbed my sister and ran and I left her behind. How can I face her after that?''

Phil cupped Dan's face in his hands. ''Dan, she's going to be fine. My mum is calling her and you'll see that she's going to be fine.'' he told him, stroking his cheeks softly.

Dan locked their eyes together, before nodding and sniffling. ''Sorry, for turning up unannounced and everything. I just needed you.''

Phil smiled before drawing Dan in for a kiss. It was a little salty from Dan's tears but it was still soft and sweet, until he felt Dan nudging at his lips with his tongue. Allowing him access, the kiss developed quickly into a hot and steamy one. Cradling the back of Phil's head, Dan moaned quietly, before opening Phil's bedroom and forcing him backwards a few steps before a pointed cough had them springing apart.

Martyn looked at them, a knowing smirk on his face before he directed his attention to Dan. ''Your mum's fine. Your brother arrived just after you'd driven off and diffused the situation. She's absolutely fine.''

Dan nodded and smiled gratefully. ''Thanks Mart.'' he said, watching as the older Lester smiled and turned to head back downstairs, disappearing somewhere downstairs. ''Thank god for that.'' Dan whispered, dropping his head on Phil's shoulder and wrapping his arms round his, breathing in his scent, smiling at the scent of home and closing his eyes peacefully.

* * *

Awakening to giggles, Phil let out a groan before his eyes fluttered open and was greeted by a Howell, just not the one he's used to. Wrapping his arms round Chloe, he tipped her back onto her side, between himself and a still sleeping Dan. ''What are you doing awake so early, missy?'' he asked, quietly, propping himself up on his elbow.

''I'm always awake early. It's eight o'clock.'' Chloe said, before rolling onto her side and cuddling Dan and poking his cheek. ''DanDan, wake up!'' she said. Before Phil could stop her, she clambered over Dan's sleeping form and pressed her lips to his cheek and blowing a loud raspberry on said cheek.

Dan awoke with a jolt, his eyes wide with terror, before the giggles from his sister reached his ears. Groaning, he reached out for Phil, cuddling up to him, wanting to cling to that last piece of sleep. ''Leave me alone.'' he said, though it was muffled into Phil's neck.

''But, it's morning! Please can we watch cartoons? If that's okay?'' Chloe added, looking at Phil, who nodded and climbed from the bed.

''No. Stay in bed with me.'' Dan pleaded, dramatically reaching out for his boyfriend and his sister, and then flopping onto the bed as Chloe moved away too quickly. The youngest Howell giggled before pulling on Phil's hand and headed towards the bedroom door. ''Never thought my sister would be the one to tear us apart, Phil.''

Rolling his eyes and smiling fondly, Phil blew him a kiss before he was dragged from his room and down the stairs. Dan watched them go before grabbing his phone and opening up his Twitter. 

_Just had a sneak peek into the future this morning..._

Posting it, he waited for some replies, laughing at one that said _Is Phil reading his tarot cards to you again?_. Smiling, he typed out a reply, with the simple smirking emoji. Locking his phone, Dan climbed from the bed and headed downstairs, hearing voices in the kitchen. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched as Phil directed Chloe round the kitchen and helped her make pancakes. Smiling and lost in his world, he failed to hear Kathryn headed down the stairs. ''Look at him, such a natural, isn't he?'' she commented, before heading towards the coffee maker for her morning coffee...

* * *

Walking along the snow filled cliffs made for very scenic photos. Posting an Instagram story, Dan turned the camera to selfie mode before snapping a picture of himself with the snow covered scenery behind him, or he would've done if Phil had thrown a snowball at his head and drenched his curls with snow. Gasping in shock as cold snow rushed down his back, he quickly snapped the photo before realising Phil was filming him. ''You little shit!'' he laughed, pointing at him, before shaking his head like a wet dog to get rid of the snow.

Phil laughed before been hit in the face with a snowball, Dan's laughter cackling in the background of his story. Releasing his thumb from the Instavideo, Phil posted it before he slipped his phone back into his pocket and started a snowball fight with Dan, laughter filling the air. Tackling him into the snow, Phil laid next to him, a huge sense of deja vu washed over him. Judging by Dan's face, Phil knew he was thinking the same thing. Reaching to cup his cheek, Phil pulled him in for a kiss. Tender, but sweet and full of love.

Pulling back, Dan smiled bashfully and shook his head, fondly. ''I'm getting huge deja vu here. Only there isn't an old, creepy abandoned hospital behind us.''

''No, but there's a steep drop to the rocks and sea behind us.''

Dan smacked the back of Phil's head lightly and laughing lightly and fondly. ''You idiot.'' Getting to his feet, Dan watched as Phil traced them three little words into the snow. Smiling down at the traced words, he found that it didn't sting anymore. After the video leaked all them years ago, he had fundamentally tried to lock the video away, despite it been his most favourite of Phil's. It had been for them and them only and then suddenly the whole world had seen it and tainted it. 

''You ready to head back?'' Phil asked, taking Dan's hand in his. 

Dan pulled him to a stop and turned him to face him. ''How about we stay out here for a bit? Surely, there's a coffee shop open somewhere? And I hear there's a great spot for a sunset watch.'' he whispered, before he pulled Phil in for another kiss, cupping his face in his gloved hands. He was thankful that they had headed far out onto the cliffs, they were secluded by trees. 

''Sounds perfect.''

* * *

''I've just remembered that I still have to give you your Christmas presents.'' Phil said, as they headed up the garden path that evening. With it been winter, the short days gave way into long, dark nights which Dan loved. 

''You don't have to give me anything, Phil. Just you allowing to spend Christmas here was a blessing. Still might have to sneak the last of the pigs in blankets to bed tonight.'' Dan said, licking his lips. Kathryn's pigs in blanket were to die for and the best part of any Christmas leftovers.

Phil smiled as he unlocked the front door and stepped into the warmth, while Dan shut the door behind them. Removing their outer-layers and hanging them up, Phil pressed Dan into the wall next to their coats, their faces so close, their noses slightly rubbed together. ''Is it bad that I wish we were home already? We could've gone straight to bed and - Ow! Dan!'' Phil suddenly found himself hitting the opposite wall harshly as Dan pushed him away, with a look of horror etched onto face.

''Mum.'' There was no way Karen hadn't seen that intimate exchange.

Phil froze as he slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder. Peeking round the doorframe next to him, he saw Karen sat in the chair near the fireplace, clutching a cup of tea, watching them closely. ''Shit...'' he whispered, as he turned back to Dan, who was still pressed against the wall, unmoving.

'DanDan! You're back. I haven't seen you all day!'' Chloe rushed over to her older brother, who robotically picked her and balanced her on his hip. ''Are you okay?'' Chloe asked, seeing her brother was unresponsive to her enthusiasm at seeing him.

Karen placed her cup of tea on the coaster next to her chair before getting to her feet and heading out into the hallway. ''Why don't we have a little chat, Dan?'' she suggested, softly. ''Give Chloe to Phil and we'll find somewhere quiet.'' she told him, watching as his grip instantly tightened on his sister.

''Dan?'' Phil asked, waiting until his boyfriend looked at him before moving towards him. ''Pass Chloe to me.'' he said softly and gently, reaching out for the youngest Howell and taking her from Dan's arms, before shooting him a reassuring look behind Chloe's back.

Dan could feel his fight or flight instincts kicking in. He hated been put in a corner and basically been forced to do something. Breathing harshly, he forced himself to remember his breathing routine what his therapist had taught him. Once he had got his breathing to level that he was sure he wouldn't panic at, Dan allowed his Mum to lead him to the kitchen and shut the door behind him. The door shutting sounded loud in his ears, almost echoing.

''I think we need to have a talk, don't you?''

Dan's eyes snapped to his Mum. ''I'm sorry. I sorry I left you yesterday in a situation you could've been hurt in. I just... I didn't think at the time and all I thought was ''what if he gets to Chlo?''. I couldn't... I didn't want her to see her Dad like that. I know I scared you by just leaving with her and I should've called when we got here, but I was scared. Scared that you wouldn't answer the phone because the argument had gone too far or something.''

''Dan, you know... You know he would never hit any of us? He may have a temper at times, but he would never strike us. Any of us. He didn't mean to push you yesterday. And you didn't need to stand in-front of me. I'm a strong woman, I can fight for myself, but thankyou for protecting me.''

''I know now, looking back, that he didn't mean to push me. It was adrenaline but it was the shock of hitting the cupboard and seeing the blood that just set me off.'' Taking a deep breath, he sighed. ''Kathryn told me, Adrian came home and diffused the situation?''

Karen nodded. ''He saw you drive off and heard the shouting and then put two and two together. Your Dad told him what happened and he was angry, but I swear to you, Dan. He didn't mean to push you back. He was going to help you when I started screaming at him again when you hit the floor.''

Dan nodded, before gripping the kitchen chair. ''Are you mad?'' he asked, swallowing his nerves.

''Of course I'm not mad. You removed yourself from-''

''No...'' Dan interrupted. ''For coming here instead of going to Nan's?'' He dared to look his mum in the eye when he said it, watching her closely.

Karen stayed silent for a few seconds. ''No. I wasn't.'' she edged round the table slowly, before stopping in-front of Dan. ''Because I had a feeling. And...'' Taking a deep breath, she whispered the next part, not knowing how Dan would react. ''Because, I know, sweetheart.''

Dan frowned, confusion colouring his face. ''Know what?'' he asked, wondering what she was on about.

''I wanted to talk to you last night about it, but... Well, you ended up here.'' Karen said, before covering Dan's hand with one of hers and gripping it. ''I know about you and Phil, sweetheart.''

Dan's heart stopped, as colour drained from his face. ''Know what?'' he whispered, dreading the next words to come out of his mum mouth.

''I know that you're together, for a long time too, I'm suspecting.'' Dan's wrenched his hand away from his Mum, his walls heading back up at an alarming rate. ''I saw the photo on your phone-''

''You looked through my phone?!'' Dan shouted, his voice loud and angry. ''Why the fuck would you do that?''

''You'd gone out to the car and Phil had sent you a message. I was clearing the table of our mugs of tea and I reached to get yours and I saw the photo of you two kissing. On your lock screen.'' Karen rushed out, seeing Dan closing in and slowly starting to panic.

Dan could feel himself panicking. His most deepest secret was out to the one person that he wasn't ready to tell just yet. Anger flared up inside of him as tears pooled in his eyes. He wouldn't cry. Not in-front of his mum. Not when she would reject him. ''And how did that make you feel?'' he whispered, lowly, his eyes boring into his Mum.

''A lot of things.'' Dan inhaled sharply, but allowed her to continue. ''Anger. At myself. Because I didn't realise it sooner. You're always together and you never talk about relationships, but I still just assumed that there was nothing going on.''

''Did it ever cross your mind?'' 

Karen was silent for a moment and nodded, softly. ''I just thought you'd tell me in your own time. But, then you never did, so I just... Let it go.'' she sniffled. ''I felt happiness, for you.'' She watched as Dan's head snapped up, his eyes showing a slight hint of hopefulness. ''Happiness, because you've found someone who loves you so much. Throughout everything you've been through, he's remained by your side.'' Wiping her eyes, she continued, though this time, hurt laced her tone. ''But I was hurt, Dan. Hurt that you didn't think you could trust me with something like this.''

Dan scoffed lightly. ''Is that any surprise? After the comments you and Dad made when I younger, before I even met Phil. When the world was a different place.''

''I know and I'm so sorry. But, Dan...'' Karen stepped closer to her eldest and gently cupped his face in her hands. ''You are my son and I love you so much. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't trust me with this, but I promise, sweetheart. I promise, from now on... You can trust me with anything!'' Karen said, fiercely, before pulling Dan in for a much needed hug. 

It felt like a dam had broke out with the amount of tears that were streaming down Dan's face. Clutching his mum tightly, he sobbed loudly. A whole range of emotions swirling through him, that he knew he would have to sort out later. But, his mum accepted him for who he was after all these years of trying so hard to hide his true self from her. 

There was the sound of footsteps rushing for the kitchen door before voices filled the room.

''Chloe, no!''

''DanDan!'' Chloe sounded horrified at the scene of Dan crying harshly into their mother's shoulder. ''Mum, why is he crying?'' 

Sniffling and wiping his eyes, Dan turned to face the Lester brother's and Chloe in the doorway. ''I'm fine, Chlo. Just a mum and son heart to heart, that's all.'' he said, his voice a little hoarse from sobbing. 

''Chlo, why don't we go and build a snowman outside with the remainder of the snow?'' Phil suggested, sensing they needed more time together. 

''Actually... Could Martyn do that? Just for a few minutes, would that be okay?'' she asked Martyn, who nodded and led Chloe away from the kitchen, leaving his younger brother in the kitchen with Dan and his Mum. Beckoning Phil into the room, she closed the door again before turning to other men in the kitchen. She could see Dan was nervous, but she smiled a the fact that Phil had one hand behind his back, holding one of Dan's hand tightly. ''Phil, I need to thankyou-''

''Mum-''

''Hush up.'' Karen said, causing Dan to snap his mouth shut, before turning to Phil again. ''I need to thankyou for everything you've done for him. You've been a constant light in his life, that I didn't know he needed all them years ago. I thought it would be a phase, that he'd grow out of watching YouTube and become a lawyer.''

''Oh god..'' Dan muttered, before grunting through his teeth as Phil smacked him on the thigh with their hands that were entwined. 

''I didn't think that, nine years later, he'd not only still be watching YouTube, but be one of their biggest creators out there with millions of subscribers. And it was all thanks to you. You made so happy all them years ago, and you haven't stopped. I can't thankyou enough for basically keeping him alive. I can never repay you fully for that, but what I can say, is... I'm sorry. Sorry for not realising sooner. Guess my son is really good at hiding things from me. But, I can't imagine how hard it must've been to keep up this façade around the rest of us Howell's. So, I promise, that whenever you come to Reading to see us with Dan, you will always be welcome. Not that you weren't before, because you were. But, you can be yourselves now and I will not let anyone say anything bad to you both.''

''Fucking hell, Mum.'' Dan choked out, ruining the moment again, before he smiled wetly at Phil, tear tracks evident on both their faces. ''That's her way of saying-''

''Welcome to the family.'' Karen rushed out, beating Dan to the punch, before pulling an emotional Phil into a hug, rubbing his back comfortingly. 

''Thankyou, Karen.''

* * *

They loved spending time with each other's family, but there was nothing quite like their own bed, in their own apartment, with their own home comforts around them. Dan was almost finished processing what had actually happened at Christmas. It almost still felt like a fever dream to him.

'Stop thinking so hard...''

Dan smirked before turning to Phil, who lay next to him, panting. ''Come to the land of living, have you?'' he asked, cheekily.

Phil smiled, before pulling him in for another deep kiss by the back of his head. ''That was definitely some of the best sex we've had.'' he whispered, before stroking the side of his boyfriend's face and turning serious. ''But seriously, are you okay?'' he asked, softly.

After the emotional talk in kitchen, Karen Dan and Phil had spent the night with Kathryn and Nigel, building bridges. Chloe had sneaked downstairs a couple of times, claiming she wasn't tired, and only went to sleep when Dan had tucked her in and stayed with her until she felt asleep properly. By the time, he made it back downstairs, he could hear his baby stories been told, which was always embarrassing. By the time the twenty seventh of December had rolled round, Karen, Chloe Dan and Phil had left the Isle of Man with three new things. A budding friendship, a slowly mending relationship and a deeply established relationship that didn't have to be hidden from anyone anymore.

Smiling at partner of ten years, Dan smiled. ''I've never been more okay in my life.'' he told him, and he meant it...

**Author's Note:**

> Thankyou so much for reading!
> 
> For my first work in this fandom, I hope I did okay!
> 
> See you all soon! X


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